Sexual lust is inevitable in human life. But plenty of people reach points at which they simply don’t feel “in the mood” and wonder: “How do I get horny?” No matter if you’re single or coupled up, a man or a woman, a teenager or retired, the need for sex can change depending on stress, hormones, lifestyle and even emotions.

You see, getting turned on —that’s another way of saying aroused — isn’t just about being physically signaled by your body that you’re ready for sexy stuff. It’s a meeting of body, mind and environment acting together to build want. Learning about how arousal works can help you to spark that fire more easily, increase intimacy with your partner, and feel more connected to your own body.

In this piece, we take a closer look at the science of arousal, some practical ideas for increasing your libido, and the healthiest ways to get horny when you want to be.

Section 1: What the Hell Does “Getting Horny” Mean?

At its most basic, “getting horny” is a euphemism for becoming sexually aroused. But arousal is part mental and part physical:

• Mental arousal may be about thoughts, fantasies, or desire.
• Physical arousal refers to bodily changes, such as vaginal lubrication in women and penile erections in men.

To be clear: arousal doesn’t happen immediately. For some people, it takes them a little more time, a little more stimulation or the right environment to be turned on. And that’s perfectly normal.

Section 2: Biological and Psychological Basis of Arousal

Desire is seeded in the brain. When something turns you on — whether it’s a stimulus in the form of a thought, touch, or visual cue — your brain floods your body with feel-good chemicals: dopamine (the pleasure hormone) and oxytocin (the bonding hormone).

Key hormones in arousal include:

• Testosterone: A hormone in men and women’s bodies that has been shown to increase desire.
• Estrogen & progesterone: Affect libido at different points in the menstrual cycle.
• Dopamine & serotonin: Influence mood, motivation, and reward.

At the same time, you become more physically aroused, blood flows to the genitals, sensitivity increases and the body is primed for sex.

But hormones and biology aren’t the entire story. State of mind matters a lot — stress, depression and low self-confidence can inhibit arousal, while relaxation, happiness and intimacy can promote it.

3: Lifestyle Libido Boosters

How you handle yourself every day is key to how horny you are.

Eat a libido-friendly diet

• Zinc- and magnesium-rich foods, as well as those high in omega-3s, to boost circulation and balance hormones:
• Oysters, pumpkin seeds, dark chocolate
• Spinach, bananas, nuts
• Salmon, tuna, avocado

Exercise regularly

• Exercise raises blood flow, testosterone and body confidence – all of which are helpful for arousal. Even yoga can help to loosen up and to become more body-aware.

Sleep well

• Testosterone and energy tank with poor sleep. 7-8 hours for sex drive to naturally spike?

Limit substances that lower libido

• Too much alcohol, drugs, cigs, and even coffee can mess with arousal.
• When your body feels good, your desire for sex naturally supports that experience.

Chapter 4. Mental And Emotional Triggers

The act of becoming horny isn’t simply physical — it actually begins in the mind.

Examples of techniques to get aroused mentally:

• Fantasizing: It’s OK to let your mind wander to things that excite you.
• Lowering stress: Stress fills the body with cortisol, which lowers sex drive. Methods to relax, such as meditation, deep breathing or a hot bath are beneficial.
• Self confidence: If you look and feel sexy, then you will be in the mood. Small acts like putting on clothes and grooming can help give someone a boost of confidence.
• Mindfulness: Being mindful of your touch, your breath and your physical sensations will help you stay present and feel more counter-normatively aroused.

Section 5: Things Out There That Turn You On

Occasionally the perfect external environment is all that really matters.

• Music: Sensual or slow music can create the right atmosphere.
• Movies or porn: Reading or watching something erotic with your imagination as guide.
• Touch and massage: A back rub, warm oil, or simple cuddling can ignite passion.
• Lighting and setting: Low lights, candles, and a private, safe environment = soothing comfort, which is a turn-on in and of itself.

Think of it as laying a stage — once the mood is right, arousal comes much more easily.

Section 6: Partnered Arousal

When you’re with a partner, arousal often relies on connection and communication.

How to get horny with a partner:

• Communicate openly: Discuss fantasies, likes and preferences as well as wants.
• Focus on foreplay: Kissing, touching, oral sex, and teasing help build anticipation and arousal.
• Experiment: New things (role play, toys, positions) keep things fresh.
• Create closeness out of the bedroom: Being emotionally close enhances sexual response.

Trust and safety are key. The more relaxed you are, the an easier time you will have getting turned on.

Section 7: Individual Arousal And Solo Masturbation

Sometimes, it doesn’t take a partner to be horny. Masturbating is a healthy way to figure out what is a turn-on for you.

• Self-exploration: Find the sensitive parts of your body.
• Methods: Play around with speed, pressure and rhythm.
• Sex toys: Vibrators, dildos, or strokers can help add sensation.
• Benefits: Stress-relieving, mood-lifting and shows them what to do with a partner in future.

Masturbating is what lets you get used to your own sexuality and it’s easier to “get horny” when you want to.

Section 8: When Libido Is Low

There are times when, no matter what we do, our bodies just don’t seem to cooperate with our arousal. Below are some possible causes of low sex drive:

• Stress or depression
• Changes in hormones (menopause, low testosterone, thyroid problems)
• Medications (antidepressants, birth control)
• Relationship issues

What to do:

• Speak to a doctor for hormonal or medical reasons.
• If stress or mental health is a factor, seek counseling.
• Talk to your partner about needs and frustrations.

There’s nothing wrong with needing help — libido is a natural aspect of health.

Section 9: Myths Of Being Horny

The pressure to be turned on There’s so much that people believe — these myths around what makes us turned on:

• Myth: Guys are horny all of the time, gals never.

Reality: Both men and women have a wide range of levels of desire.

• Myth: Porn shows “real” arousal.

The Reality: Porn is acting; actual arousal is a lot more multifaceted.

• Myth: There’s something wrong if you’re not horny.

Reality: Sex drive ebbs and flows with stress, cycles, and age.

• Myth: Some foods or drinks will immediately put you in the mood.

Reality: Libido naturally fluctuates with stress, cycles, and age.

• Myth: Diet is important, but no doctor would recommend looking at food as a silver bullet.

Reality:  Parsing these myths is as liberating as it is pressure-releasing, and it makes the experience of arousal more organic.

Conclusion

Horniness is a potent brew of biology, psychology and environment. For some people, it’s effortless; for others, it takes relaxation, stimulation or effort. The factors which can increase arousal are:

• Caring for your body with good diet, exercise and sleep.
• Stress reduction and mental well-being.
• Exploring fantasies, touch, and stimulation.
• Openly communicating with a partner or self-exploration.
• Getting help if your sex drive is chronically low.

Just remember: everyone’s sexuality so very individual. There is no “right” way to be horny, and no schedule. By learning about your body and mind, setting the right mood, and fostering closeness, it’s possible to let arousal become more of a natural and pleasant experience.

Horniness is not merely of the body, in the crude fiats of drives and lusts and urges; it is also of the mind, in the sublimer realms of yearning and connection, which can be blurred and ratcheted collectivized and disarmed in a time of serial quarantine. And with the right attitude, it’s something that you can develop and savor at any point in life.